Not even two weeks has gone by since school started and we already have a holiday. Wheeeeeee! The rain here also gave me a reason to pull out my rain boots and Tweety Bird umbrella and get out. Unfortunately my mom said that I would look stupid with my bright yellow raincoat as well so that stayed on the shelf :(
Now what should I talk about in this little free time of mine?
I just finished this little article on my friend's blog: http://schizophreniaandcookies.blogspot.com/2013/08/lies-and-secrets.html?showComment=1377072706864#c8335580073781828940
After doing that, I thought "Why not get serious for a while?"
I never like to get "serious" in public because I like being a fun person but sometimes, a little bit too much goofy can make other people think that you are a completely unfeeling robot so here comes a touch of my deep thoughts!
Keeping secrets is something that is ingrained into my personality. Ever since I was little, I was an introvert. It may have not seemed that way to many people because I had a loud voice and loved to talk but I only talked to the people I felt comfortable with and only spoke of facts that I heard rather than any of my own thoughts. This may be why many of my friends came to me to talk about their secrets but I never told any of my own. Ever. I kept them all underneath my skin, buried into my brain. All the my feelings and fears were locked away in the back of my head and I never let any of them lose. This worked when I was little when I did not have as many thoughts as emotions but as time went on I started to develop more complex emotions they all started to take a toll on me. I started feeling lost and confused in my own thoughts and it became a habit to lie about my feelings. I started to become distant and distrustful because I started to think that other people lie as much as I did and hated myself because of it. The only way I could get all those feelings out was through my diary and by reading lot and lot of books just to escape my mind.
These are all problems that I have been working through and have so far been semi successful so I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't bottle your feelings up because it hurts. Maybe not straight away but it will slowly eat away at your sanity so don't forget to always have that one person to turn to if you ever need help!