Exams are like a Mistress (My Profound Quote of the Day)

Okay, I'm going to be taking the exams next week which just got me thinking, what are the exams really? Do we need them? Why do they pile so much stress and anxiety on people? After much thinking (which means about a minute in math class), I have decided that exams remind me of mistresses!

Why do I think exams are like that dirty little mistress you keep hidden in your attic? I always though of the exams as a last ditch effort and a huge risk to take because even if you screw up the entire year, this is your last chance to bring up your grade! Doesn't that awesome? However, at the same time, if you kept up your grade for your entire year, one mess up on the exams may mean a huge chunk of effort just washed down the drain along with your A. It can give you lots of pleasure if you do it right but it could also screw up everything you worked for if you do it wrong. Doesn't that sound like a mistress to you? As long as you keep her hidden from you wife so that even if things aren't going right in your family, you still have that one person who can give you the pleasure you are missing with you wife. However, if you had a good life with your wife but for some reason, you felt the need to get a mistress as well, once your wife goes to clean the attic, screw it. You're marriage is over. You lost your entire family in just one mess up. I think that sums up exactly what the exams offer, don't you?
So what do I think we should do with the exams? Exactly the same thing with your mistress; GET RID OF IT! Why do we need it? Aren't our work throughout the year show enough progress? However, if the education board really needs to see if you actually retained everything you learned so far, why not have a simple test and not something that takes up 20% of your grade and intimidates you by gathering you in a huge gym with a couple hundred more panicked people? Just keep it like a unit test for god's sake.
In conclusion, I think exams are useful but handled in a horrible manner, pilling on stress on students that they really don't need.I hope this was an eye-opening thought for you, and remember; don't cheat on your wife!